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Saturday, July 18, 2015

Live Blog: Tommy' Wiseau's The Room Part 7

Me: Wait.  What's happening.  Why is Johnny cheeping like a chicken?  Oh,  Mark's not a chicken.  He just doesn't like weirdos.  Got it.

This story about Johnny moving to San Francisco is soooo awkward.

And everyone leaves except for awkward Denny.  Any why is he asking about Lisa's wedding dress? What supposedly straight 18 year old boy asks about the wedding dress of the chick he's in love with?

Is that a joint Mark????  WHAT THE HELL IS THAT, MARK????  I've got this sick feeling in my stomach, man.  And only weed can cure it.

Mark!  You fucking high bastard!  Don't throw the random psychologist friend off the roof!  FUCK!

Ok.  So how did the psychologist guess it was Lisa?  What clues were there?  What did I miss?  I was tying furiously...

Hubs: Poor Mark.

Mark: She's such a manipulative bitch!  (and the reason I tried to throw you off the roof.)

Fucking psychologist:  How'd you let this happen?

Mark: Fuck!

Random psychologist: You want my advice? Sometimes, life get's complicated.  And you've got to be responsible. So you don't see Lisa again. And you definitely don't sleep with her again."

WHERE IS THE NOBEL PRIZE FOR OBVIOUS STATEMENTS!!!  GIVE THIS MAN A MEDAL!!!!

Psychologist: She's a sociopath.  She can't love anyone.

That succubus, sociopathic BITCH!

FUCK YOU, LISA!!!

_

What the what is with that tuxedo?

"Oh Hi Denny."

WHY DOES DENNY THE HOMELESS ORPHAN TEEN OWN A TUXEDO???

Holy shit!  Mark shaved!

"You look great.  You look like a babyface, y'know?"  Yes Johnny, we know.

Denny (Whining in an annoying little bitch): Come on!  Play football with meeeeee!!!!!

_

Who are these random assholes ordering coffee?  Why do we care about this?  Lemme guess: Johnny is their favorite customer?

Also, WHY were they all wearing tuxedos in the last scene.

Hubs (after pausing the movie and taking 30 seconds to think):  I have no fucking idea.  There must have been some reference we missed.  But even so, what is the point????  Just a bunch of guys throwing a football around in an alley.  While wearing tuxedos.

People are really fucking concerned about cheesecake at this coffeeshop.  Related: what coffeeshops carry cheesecake because I'm pretty sure that's not a thing...

"How was work today?"
"Oh pretty good.  We got a new client at the bank.  We make a lot of money."

So... just the one client today, huh?

And why does Mark care about this client?

"I can't tell you.  It's confidential. So how's your sex life?"

KING OF THE NONSEQUITUR, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!

_

And another goddamned sex scene.  Ugh.  I thought Mr. Psychologist told Mark NOT to sleep with Lisa.  Goddamn it, Mark.

Hubs: Is this Monica singing?

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