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Saturday, July 18, 2015

Live Blog: Tommy Wiseau's The Room Part 5

WHO THE HELL ARE MICHELLE AND MIKE????

AND WHY WERE THEY GETTING BUSY AT LISA'S???

What was the point of this scene????

Johnny wanted to adopt Denny? Why?  That kid is a creeper.

Hubs: Again, Johnny is a saint.  And it only took su 33 minutes to figure out who Denny was.

Me: what guy is wearing a stocking cap.  He must be dangerous!

"You want five fucking minutes, Denny?"

"Where's my fucking money, Denny????"

Johnny to the rescue!

Lisa: What kind of money? What kind of money, Denny????

Me: The green kind, bitch! What do you think???

_

Johnny: Are you OK Denny?

Denny: I'm OK.

Johnny: Are you OK Denny???

HE'S FUCKING OK!!!!!

"You know better, Denny."

"I know.  It won't happen again, I promise!"

Spoken like a true addict.

Hubs: Johnny's eyes were shut the ENTIRE SCENE.

_

Mark:  I don't understand you.

Damn right, you don't.  She's a fucking sociopath who uses ALL MEN!

_

And here it is:

In one huge puke stream of consciousness: I did hit her!It's not true!It's bullshit!I did not hit her!I did not!Oh 'hi' Mark."

Hubs: Were his eyes completely shut for that entire thing???

Me: No.  He blinks at the end.

Hubs: "She says I hit her."  "Well did you?"  "Don't even ask."  YOU BROUGHT IT UP!  You know what would be great, if the real-life Patton Oswald were here in each scene of the entire movie.  Or better yet, Louis C.K.  "YOU JUST BROUGHT IT UP!!!!"

Mark: DO you think girls like to cheat like guys do?

Oh Mark, you dumb sonofabitch.

So Mark tells you that a woman had 12 lovers and after one found out, he beat her so badly that she was in a hospital.  Then you laugh and say "What a good story, Mark."?????  HUH?!?

I need a goddamn cookie.

"Oh man, I just can't figure women out.  Sometimes they're just oo smart.  Sometimes they're flat out stupid.  Other times they're just evil."

Pause

Hubs: So... smart's bad.  Dumb's bad.  And evil's bad.

Oh Mark.  You stupid, stupid fool.  Lisa is going to devour you and spit out your slow, stupid bones.

Play

Hubs: What IS bothering you, dude?  He knows there's a secret!  Johnny is in charge now because he took the football.  The power is contained in the football.

Me: I love that it is the exact same inflection every time Johnny says "Oh hi, Denny."

Hubs: "Girl trouble, I guess." Oh Johnny, you'll find out soon.

_

Hubs: Ok seriously.  What is with his mandibles?  If looks like there is a Q-tip or something shoved down there... No!  It's like he was at the dentist and just left those gauze rolls in there!  He was like "Aw shit.  I have to keep shooting this."

_

"He HIT YOU? ARE YOU OK?"

Finally someone asks the important questions!  Too bad HE NEVER ACTUALLY HIT YOU.  Lying bitch.

"Something awful is going to happen."  Yes.  Yes it is.

Hubs:  Question- This movie is called The Room.  So is it this room?  What room?

Me: .............

_

I have never seen a man so frantic to speak to a woman!  YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, LISA!




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