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Saturday, July 18, 2015

Live Blog: Tommy Wiseau's The Room Part 3

Me: He's getting a promotion!  Swoon!

So Grandma is her mom.  Dunno about yawl but I don't particularly like parading around in my lingerie in front of my mom the morning after banging some guy I don't actually like...

Also, why on earth did Grandma even come over???  That convo lasted 2 minutes!

And she's a bitch ruining your life.  What are you, 13?

Hubs: What was he doing that made him so busy??? Damn it!  We'll never know.  There he is.  He is no longer busy.

Me: Uh oh.  I think something weird and sexual is about to go down.

Hubs: I think Tommy Wiseau has seen too many "Red Shoe Diaries."

_

Yes, stupid guy.  She is TRYING TO SEDUCE YOU!!!!

"Don't you like me?  I'm 'your girl.'"

_


WHAAAAA?  He's Johnny's best friend?!?!?!  How many more seconds until they bang?  Because that's going to happen.  Also, who asks someone to "make love" to them anymore?  What is this, 1925?

MAKE OUUUUUUT!

Cue the BoyzIIMen.

Surprise: it's TLC, not BoyzIIMen!

_

Sex on the stairs?  Are they in the basement?  Where are they????  They like, aren't even moving...

Hubs: Ah, the butt crack.  Actually, I bet this (singer) is one of the homeless people from EnVogue.

"didn't you enjoy it???"
"That's not the point."

Pause.

Hubs: So a serious note.  This is really starting to smack of misogyny, right?  No really, you have Johnny who is a nice guy and then this chick is going to like, take all of his money and leave him. So either Wiseau thinks that women are like this or that Lisa is the antagonist of the story.  She's a caricature. I mean really, both male characters are supposedly "really nice guys" and this chick is some succubus or something.

Play

"You're beautiful, but we can't do this anymore."

"Hey.  This will be our secret."

Oooooh I wouldn't bet on it, Mark.  I wouldn't bet on it.


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