tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37054182348217825172024-02-21T12:27:24.254-06:00The Underemployed LibrarianWanted: stress relief for soon to be un/underemployed librarian. Sarcasm and random tales a must. Interested parties should inquire within.Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11187699120920441165noreply@blogger.comBlogger71125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3705418234821782517.post-56027790701490210162019-07-30T17:33:00.004-05:002019-07-30T19:17:42.954-05:00What Am I Reading<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIoMymgqctOPjROMh5ASPoN6aYpn6SwHoCk3Uy3FJCA_EU4bR_6PnwZlIRzqv5V-JUDR9YfWGgMKNFt50c0muv7Aa7X2TSGsDwfi5gcX57Wq1gyIc6qh06qbqrDO_g4xXv9GNdCGAdGkfQ/s1600/image1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1173" data-original-width="1280" height="366" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIoMymgqctOPjROMh5ASPoN6aYpn6SwHoCk3Uy3FJCA_EU4bR_6PnwZlIRzqv5V-JUDR9YfWGgMKNFt50c0muv7Aa7X2TSGsDwfi5gcX57Wq1gyIc6qh06qbqrDO_g4xXv9GNdCGAdGkfQ/s400/image1.jpeg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">All about those comics rn<br />
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It's been a while since I've written about what I'm reading and lately it seems to be about 5 different things at once.<br />
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Current trend: Comics and Graphic Novels. <br />
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Just finished issue #1 of Nnedi Okorafor's new GN LaGuardia. Anyone who knows me knows that if I am handing out book recommendations I will be mentioning her for her amazing writing of sci fi and fantasy. This GN is about the future after aliens appear on earth (so after her novel Lagoon takes place but it stands on its own if you haven't read the novel). Basically, a mirror of physical aliens to the current day issues surrounding "illegal" aliens. The first volume just dropped TODAY in trade paper so do yourself a favor and get thee to a comic book shop (or if you must, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/LaGuardia-Nnedi-Okorafor/dp/1506710751/ref=sr_1_1?crid=14U2WUH122IXP&keywords=laguardia+nnedi+okorafor&qid=1564525476&s=gateway&sprefix=laguardia%2Caps%2C418&sr=8-1" target="_blank">Amazon</a>).<br />
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I am about 2/3 done with the standalone Feathers by Jorge Corona. I grabbed it at ALA because there was a blurb from Skottie Young on the cover and the hubs is a big Skottie/I Hate Fairyland fan. He enjoyed it, and I am enjoying it too. If you are a fan of new twists on fairy tales, this one is good. Great for all ages (so far! I know there are some not good things coming but I don't know how "not good" yet!) I Hate Fairyland puts twists on every single fairytale trope you can imagine and then... dumps a bucket of blood and violence on it. Anyway...<br />
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Next up will be Hotcomb by Ebony Flowers which I am so excited to read. It came out last month and I'm psyched. <br />
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Current Book Club Read: Palaces for the People by Eric Klinenberg. Read it a month early since I was going to hear Klinenberg speak at ALA. It's great. All about social infrastructure and what that means in our communities and why we need to talk about it. Not something I would ever pick up on my own (even thought it *does* talk a lot about libraries) but it was a really good read.<br />
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Current Audiobook: We Were Liars by E. Lockhart. I'm super late to the party on this one but am enjoying the twisty mystery.<br />
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Current Novel: Just started an advanced copy of Exile From Eden by Andrew Smith. This was my #1 most exciting snag from the ALA conference. It's the sequel to Grasshopper Jungle which is one of my all time favorite YA novels. It focuses on Austin's son 16 years after the events of the first book and it is just as amazing as the first book. Only about 40 pages in.<br />
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Happy Reading!<br />
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<br />Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11187699120920441165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3705418234821782517.post-81163045724150121222019-06-04T13:04:00.000-05:002019-06-04T13:22:31.840-05:00How a Styling Service Changed My Life<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I'm not an influencer. Hell, I'm not even a blogger (my last post was more than a year ago!). But I *am* a consumer. Mainly of streaming TV shows and coffee. But this spring I have found myself wanting more. Namely, a more fitting wardrobe. I've been a Stay At Home Mom for almost year and a half now and while my body has gone through many changes in that time (breastfeeding, working out five days a week for the first time in my life, ending the breastfeeding journey, eating way too much during the holidays) I haven't felt "at home" in my clothes at all lately. Do I have plenty of activewear leggings and t-shirts to wear to pre-K drop off? Uh, does a Mom need more sleep??? But everything from my jeans to sundresses either doesn't fit the way I'd like or is hastily purchased on a single afternoon shopping excursion to an outlet mall (with kids in tow, natch). I need something <i>new</i>. Something that doesn't make me feel like a frumpy SAHM.<br />
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I've done the boxed styling services before. I've had mixed results with <a href="https://www.stitchfix.com/" target="_blank">Stitch Fix</a>. It's usually feast or famine with what they send me and I find that if I even moderately like two or three of the items I buy the whole damn Fix just to save the 25%. This spring I tried the styling service through <a href="https://fabfitfun.com/product/exclusive-fabfitfun-style-box/" target="_blank">Fab Fit Fun</a>. Set up almost identically to Stitch Fix except they ask you less than half the questions in their style assessment and there's no place for you to really tell them what you are looking for. I hated everything in the box but a pair of ponte leggings that resembled a pair I have in a larger size that doesn't fit me currently. So I now have yet another pair of black pants. Did I mention that it's finally summer? Exciting stuff.<br />
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I even thought about the style rental services. Not willing to commit to Rent the Runway on a SAHM (read: no) salary, I thought I'd try <a href="https://letote.com/" target="_blank">Le Tote</a>. Seemed interesting. They will come up with pieces for you but you're more than welcome to browse their site and swap in pieces you'd rather have. You are also able to purchase items you really love via their website. This turned out AWFUL for me. I signed up to do 2 Totes a month at $80/month. In my first Tote I could wear... a pair of earrings and a necklace. There is no option for swapping a different size. Clearly my measurements were WAY off from the brands they carry. For me, it was a waste of money since I couldn't wear any of the pieces I received and it was making me feel super insecure about myself. I don't have time for that sh*t.<br />
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I kept researching. What else was out there? I didn't want to go with some of the cheaper box options out there because I had a feeling I would really not like what I was getting and would be taking more time and money to send things back over and over again. I clearly wasn't cut out for the high end sites like <a href="https://mmlafleur.com/" target="_blank">M.M. LaFleur</a>. Then I found an <a href="https://www.self.com/story/allume-personal-shopper" target="_blank">article</a> for a review of the styling site <a href="https://www.allume.co/" target="_blank">Allume</a> from the style editor at Self Magazine from December of 2017. I hadn't heard about the site but once I read her review (and the fact that they truly cater to all body types) I was excited to sign up and give it a try.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLrGms3zxu_7dylQ4U3tqMJWTa8jALbCZWBT-QpBAGUfQgVj15GhzxwTs4d-ycbvQbx83LlAMmvh_ZD-sBdwyxirctvLmUf6F1ylggDYPFk09WVCZpCdGvDEkfGou7Xaj_cRQl3o2oh4A1/s1600/favicon.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="180" data-original-width="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLrGms3zxu_7dylQ4U3tqMJWTa8jALbCZWBT-QpBAGUfQgVj15GhzxwTs4d-ycbvQbx83LlAMmvh_ZD-sBdwyxirctvLmUf6F1ylggDYPFk09WVCZpCdGvDEkfGou7Xaj_cRQl3o2oh4A1/s1600/favicon.png" /></a></div>
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Here's what happened:<br />
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Like many styling sites, you pay a $20 styling fee on Allume. If you decide to purchase any items from them the $20 comes off of your total. You fill out a very detailed style assessment similar to those on Stitch Fix with one big exception: each section of the assessment gives a blank comment box. I could actually give details on what my issues or dislikes were about either my body or certain kinds of clothing. It wasn't left to a 200 word limit general note at the end of your assessment. The idea is that a stylist will read all of your details and put together three complete looks for you.<br />
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And then things got awesome: You sign up to actually <b>*talk*</b> to a stylist. <i>Via text message.</i> Where you can say as much or as little as you like. Where you can send links in real time and even upload photos. The stylist would send you a link to the looks she curated and then you would talk about them. She would take notes and then adjust your looks accordingly. If you wished, you could then order the items you liked through their website. I signed up and my session with a stylist was scheduled for less than five days later. <br />
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As 10 AM on a Sunday approached, I was beyond excited. What kinds of things would she pick for me? Would I hate everything? Would I suddenly feel like I had to drop $500 I didn't have on a bunch of new things??? When Dee texted me the link to my Looks, I was making coffee. I opened the link and scrolled through all kinds of items while pouring a cup for DJ and myself. Then I continued to scroll and text while chasing down a climbing toddler. I don't know what I can say about this experience other than the fact that it was transformative. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm15eGfQULRb1ybNtnHssBRTintA3GLM_aQ7ohZg8rOXqLgy8b8XoITH9lvjflr3pI9jmDZyajif3SDpcIexpGosVeld2dItqtYf5oEP9S4Pwp3saGcPBUrZ2WW8i6I8JlIxsitdt8GdCn/s1600/Screen+Shot+2019-06-04+at+10.05.26+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1440" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm15eGfQULRb1ybNtnHssBRTintA3GLM_aQ7ohZg8rOXqLgy8b8XoITH9lvjflr3pI9jmDZyajif3SDpcIexpGosVeld2dItqtYf5oEP9S4Pwp3saGcPBUrZ2WW8i6I8JlIxsitdt8GdCn/s640/Screen+Shot+2019-06-04+at+10.05.26+AM.png" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One of my Looks post adjustments by Dee.</td></tr>
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She got my style for florals and wedge sandals, but every purse she had paired with the outfits was a super hard NO for me.<br />
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"Why?" She asked. "What is it that doesn't work for you?"<br />
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I was then able to explain my super picky tendencies when it came to bags and purses. Also: every one of the bags she picked had a small set of handles on top. I am a long handle/crossbody strap gal through and through. <br />
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"How did you like that sweater I chose to go with the workwear Look?"<br />
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"Eh..."<br />
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"So a no then. Ok. Is it because it's a drape/slight ruffle front?"<br />
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"I don't know. I don't think it's because it's a drape front... I have several of that style that I wear." I replied. "Oh wait! Is it more like a jacket? Is it made out of faux suede? Faux suede and leather is not for me when it comes to clothing." Yup. Faux leather indeed.<br />
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Being able to talk about my dislikes (and likes) in real time made all the difference here. She was taking notes (I don't like the giant ruffles on sleeves that's in right now. I don't do 3/4 length tops. I *do* love things with lots of colors and floral patterns) and telling me she'd find other items that were similar but without the elements I didn't like. <br />
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Here is another interesting thing about Allume: pricing. Like most online styling services, you give them a range of prices where you'd like to stay. But the things Dee found for me? So many of them were SUPER deals from places like Neiman Marcus Last Call, Modcloth, Saks Off 5th. There were even a bunch of awesome finds from H&M that, were I to see them on the rack while shopping, I would have totally passed over. Being able to see them together in a full Look made them work for me. <br />
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She made a bunch of edits to the Looks and sent me a new link before 5 PM my time. I ended up buying 5 pieces through their website and spending just under $170 with my refunded styling fee taken off the total. <br />
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Here is the one piece of good/bad that I will have to evaluate after the items arrive at my house:<br />
as I mentioned earlier, stylists assemble a Look full of pieces from stores all over the internet. The convenient and inconvenient thing about this is that when you checkout, you are "buying" them through Allume who then places the orders with those specific sites for you. You then get an email from Nordstrom Rack or wherever with your order confirmation and then another shipping confirmation just like you would if you were ordering from those sites directly. The issue will be if I end up needing to return things. It's way easier to pop everything into the postage provided bag that comes with a Stitch Fix order if I need to return everything or have something exchanged for a different size. With Allume this could potentially be complicated if you order from a lot of stores at one time. I played it safe this time and only ordered items from two places so returns should be no more complicated than if I were shopping on my own. <br />
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I'm so excited to receive this batch of clothing in the mail. To be honest, this service would be well worth the $20 even if it wasn't refunded with a purchase. Fingers crossed that everything fits and looks as awesome as I hope it will! I will post again when the items show up so you can see what I got :)<br />
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I've decided that life is too short- to be angry all the time or sad all the time or feeling like crap health wise. And today it's too short to wear clothes that I don't love.<br />
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PS- As much as I was NOT THRILLED with my Le Tote experience I cannot get over this necklace! Now is it worth $50 on top of my fee I paid this month? Eh...<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I am loving anything made out of resin/acrylic this spring and summer!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Super awkward photo</td></tr>
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<br />Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11187699120920441165noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3705418234821782517.post-44405902081415524942019-06-04T11:19:00.001-05:002019-06-04T11:19:18.922-05:00I'm back!It's been forever. <br />
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I'm trying to write more even if it's just random words about what happened to me today. Since 2015 I've had a goal of doing NANOWRIMO and I've been submarined on my plans several years. For 2018, I adjusted my expectations: just WRITE SOMETHING every day in November. Even if it only turns out to be a sentence or two. And I did it! For someone who hasn't even kept a journal in years this felt like a huge accomplishment. I certainly don't have a finished novel, but it was nice to get the cadence of creating sentences back in my fingers. These blog posts are typically nothing like my fiction writing style(s) but it's practice. If nothing else, I need to be writing book reviews again in potential preparation for reentering the world of libraries (someone hire me, please).<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Oh, hai. It me.</td></tr>
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<br />Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11187699120920441165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3705418234821782517.post-53212846616943748122018-05-13T16:07:00.003-05:002018-05-13T16:07:36.233-05:00I am Paris Geller: an honest Mother's DayIn thinking about stretching my writing muscles once again, I knew I wanted to write about a Mother's Day trend that has been happening in my life. While sorting through ideas in my head, I somehow stumbled into thinking about The Gilmore Girls.<br />
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I can't tell you how many "Which Gilmore Girl's Character Are You?" quizzes I have taken on the internet. I'm definitely guilty of trying to get a certain answer. The overachiever in me wants to be Rory. But the more I think about it honestly, I'm not Rory. I'm not Lorelai, Lane, Sookie, Luke, Richard or even Emily. I can admit at this point in my life that I am Paris Geller.<br />
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I feel that in my life I have been studious and even ambitious like Rory, but there is such an utter lack of patience in me that I could only be Paris.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Nope. No. Definitely not.</span></div>
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Which is why I don't feel as if motherhood comes easily to me. I have been a Stay at Home Mom for five months. Everyone is still living and breathing and I consider this an honest-to-God miracle. I yell a lot. And I feel very bad about this. My four year old is very sweet. He is also smart and has a stubborn streak a mile wide and is so like me in many ways that I just CANNOT some times. So I yell. And immediately feel bad. And I do it again. And again. And it's like I just cannot get out of this hole even though I know that constantly yelling at my four year old is A. not helpful and B. probably damaging him psychologically. Not all days are filled with yelling. Most days aren't and some are even downright fun. But I have noticed a disturbing trend in my last 2-3 Mother's Days</div>
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For a few days to a week leading up to that Sunday, it's like all possible bad situations and bad parenting habits converge at once. I am constantly yelling. I stub my toe or my oldest knocks over his glass of milk three meals in a row. And so on for days and I am just in a terrible mood. I get stuck in that tornado of thinking that I am a terrible mother. A terrible wife. A terrible daughter, terrible female person. That I am constantly failing and not good enough- for anyone and especially not these two adorable kids who call me Mom. </div>
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I know I am not a completely awful person. I know that these feelings will go away. Since being at home, I have gotten so much better at hitting the reset button after something bad happens and just moving on and starting over. But all moms go through this. All women feel these pressures: from society, from our jobs, our kids, spouses, parents, friends. It crushes us down at times and feels like we will never be able to adequately lift that rock. It seems impossible most days to forgive myself. </div>
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I will say now what countless other women have said for centuries: you're enough. You're doing fine. All of the stuff that feels like a failure will fade away and be replaced by new crap to worry about.</div>
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This part is important. </div>
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I want you to repeat with me: all of the guilt I feel at not being "enough" is BULLSHIT. </div>
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There is no such thing as enough, as perfect, as right when you are a parent. You are awesome for surviving the day and bringing everyone else with you. </div>
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I know that guilt is just another weight that you carry around. I know you have 8,000 other things to worry about each day. But let it go. Find the way through the day that works for you and just do your thing. Parenting columns, TV show families, judgmental people in line behind you at the store when your toddler is throwing a tantrum be damned. They can all go jump. It doesn't matter if you picked up Happy Meals for dinner for the third night this week. Doesn't matter if your kids are wearing dirty socks or refuse to have their hair brushed. We can tell other women that they are great all day long but still not extend that forgiveness or understanding to ourselves. You got this. You're fabulous. Even when you are Paris Geller. </div>
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<br />Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11187699120920441165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3705418234821782517.post-27272277446956340832018-05-13T13:05:00.000-05:002018-05-13T13:05:13.312-05:00Time to return to the things I love It's been a while.<br />
<br />
2018 has been a year where I am constantly running into "Remember when I used to..." thoughts.<br />
<br />
Remember when I used to... sing and play music regularly?<br />
<br />
Remember when I used to... work outside the home and felt some sort of validation of my education and intellect?<br />
<br />
Remember when I used to... write and read and take joy in those activities?<br />
<br />
Since we moved from Wisconsin back to Illinois in December, I have been a Stay at Home Mom. If you had told me, even after I had my first kid, that I would be staying at home with my children I probably would have laughed. <br />
<br />
"Are you kidding?!" I would squeal. "There is NO way I could do that! I have such a small amount of patience that none of us would survive the first week!"<br />
<br />
Well it's been 5 months and no one's died yet (seriously, a miracle). <br />
<br />
While I am glad to be closer to our family, it feels just like it did when we moved north over five years ago. Except now I am feeling all of the isolation of being in a new place while also trapped in a house with two small children and a feeling of paralyzation/ depression that has been growing since 2016.<br />
<br />
I've decided it's time to stop dicking around. Time to make some definitive changes in order to make my life a happier one. I can't rely on everyone else to do that for me and I can't just sit here anymore.<br />
<br />
Future areas of inspection:<br />
<br />
<b>Writing.</b><br />
I used to love writing so much. I haven't written a piece of fiction in almost TEN YEARS. I haven't even written an essay or blog post in more than two and a half. It's time to look into some online writing courses and at the very least, use blog posts as some much needed practice.<br />
<br />
<b>Getting out in my new community and making a difference.</b><br />
This one has always been tricky for me. As the years go by, I get more and more socially anxious. Going to new places I have never been to before makes me nervous. Going to new places I have never been to before which are packed with people I don't know also makes me nervous. For some reason unbeknownst to me, I have never had a problem tapping into my acting skills in a work setting in order to appear positive, friendly and confident. But everywhere else? NOPE. At any rate, finding ways to help others is very important to me. I am going to need to try harder to get over those feelings of anxiety in order to go to new places when there are opportunities to volunteer or help others. Period.<br />
<br />
<b>Music.</b><br />
I miss singing. SO much. I haven't seriously performed since 2011. I don't even know if I can even read music anymore. Seriously. This is a source of great shame and distress for me. How can I have forgotten how to do something that I spent the majority of my time doing for most of my life? I was asked to sing a simple hymn along with piano and viola at my youngest's baptism last weekend. It was a song I have sung a million times, we were only doing 3 short verses and I was singing to a very non-judgmental audience. But I lost my spot on the page halfway through the last verse and sang the wrong words because I was trying so hard not to cry. Not because it was a special day for my son, memories blah, blah, blah. Because of that unnamable joy that wells up in a musician when they hear/play/sing. I simply could not handle being drowned by the feeling of AWESOME that is music in that moment. How on earth do I begin to retrain myself? Ain't got the time/$/childcare for lessons. Get out my old music theory books? Who knows. I can at least start by pulling out some sheet music and singing to my baby. He won't know I'm singing all of the wrong rhythms!<br />
<br />
<b>Health.</b><br />
I will write an essay some day about dealing with bullshit health stuff as a young person. Long story short, I told myself when I had my first kid that I would not cave to societal pressures to attain my "pre-baby body" and wouldn't even think about working out etc. until my kid turned one. Well, he turned one, we stopped breastfeeding and my body fell to pieces all within a two week timespan. I then spent more than six months trying to diagnose the issues and find a treatment that wouldn't leave me constant pain. After having my second kid, I have decided that it is VERY important for me to establish healthy habits BEFORE we stop breastfeeding. If I don't, who knows how much time and money I will sacrifice trying to find a new normal. I don't have the time (or patience) to do that again. So I've started small but need to continue to find ways to exercise and eat well. I also need a new rheumatologist. <br />
<br />
That's the gist of where I am. I can't even begin to tell the entire story of where I've been.<br />
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<b><br /></b>Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11187699120920441165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3705418234821782517.post-38956758313224878582015-11-04T20:50:00.000-06:002015-11-04T20:50:49.039-06:00Why My Dog Deserves a Goddamned MedalEveryone loves their dog. But mine is awesome and he deserves a mother fucking medal.<br />
<br />
Let me explain.<br />
<br />
My Tuesday began with a bit of anxiety. I had been planning for weeks to go see Jenny Lawson read from her awesome new book <a href="http://thebloggess.com/furiously-happy/" target="_blank">Furiously Happy</a> but there were a few complications. The hubs was away at a conference in Las Vegas which meant that I would have to A. race out of work to make it in time B. take my 1.5 y/o with me to said reading and C. pray to whatever gods were listening that he could sit still and not scream or knock over a book display at the bookstore.<br />
<br />
We made it to the event. The kiddo made it through with so few whiny squawks that it was a bonafide miracle. Jenny Lawson was awesome and funny and brave and I am so glad that I took the leap and did something outside of my comfort zone. Since I had the kid with me, we got boosted to the front of the book signing line where I embarrassedly asked her to write her often uttered phrase "What the shit?" on my bookmark in order to glance at the phrase on days when people were being a-holes. <br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP-ZpWc7VNH_hqBo_hEb8M3KU68Ep7jzPJ4fgmTfPB1-d7MoQFbCiAb2VV7S2NQiOSDmycu2DZeJ-iS8YPCPWofyoMWVDuGF9y_cqUH63QLQHzy2Eqr2Uw9tj-lw3Qp81gG0zmzuL58vge/s1600/IMG_3214.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP-ZpWc7VNH_hqBo_hEb8M3KU68Ep7jzPJ4fgmTfPB1-d7MoQFbCiAb2VV7S2NQiOSDmycu2DZeJ-iS8YPCPWofyoMWVDuGF9y_cqUH63QLQHzy2Eqr2Uw9tj-lw3Qp81gG0zmzuL58vge/s400/IMG_3214.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jenny Lawson is delightful!</td></tr>
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Unfortunately, my new favorite phrase came in handy less than a half hour after the event.<br />
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We were less than five minutes from home when my cell phone rang. I don't usually answer my cell while driving, but saw that it was our home security company calling and picked up. The convo went something like this:</div>
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"Yes, Ma'am we have an alert that your alarm is..."</div>
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*rain, wind and traffic* "What? I can't hear you? I shouldn't even be on the phone right now..."</div>
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"...ma'am the back door alarm is going off..."</div>
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"What alarm?"</div>
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"Ma'am, what is your security word?"</div>
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"My security word? It's ______."</div>
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"Correct. The back door alarm is going off, would you like us to send the police?"</div>
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"I, uh, I'm not even at home right now. I'm like, 5 minutes away. I don't think you need to send the cops. Just turn the alarm off."</div>
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"Alright. Let us know if you need us to contact the police at a later time."</div>
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<div>
I pull into the driveway and everything at the house looks normal. Our door sometimes doesn't stay shut properly when you lock it and changes in air pressure can force it slightly open causing the alarm to go off. I assumed this is all that happened. I pulled very vigorously on the handle and while it was locked, it gave about an inch or so as I expected. There was a broken off metal mop/brook handle laying on the pavement outside the backdoor. I shrugged, turned off the security, unlocked the door and brought the kid inside. Everything seemed normal inside so I went about the traditional bedtime routine and called the hubs and put him on speaker so I could tell him what happened.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
After assuring him that everything seemed normal, he told me that it might not be a bad idea to call the non-emergency police. During the entire call, my adorable (but sometimes annoying) corgi was barking his head off. While he does bark on occasion, this was constant, super agitated barking. I assured DJ again that everything was fine and ended the call. I checked all of the rooms in our upstairs; nothing was disturbed. Albus continued to bark. <br />
<br />
I texted my neighbor and asked if she'd seen anything strange outside a bit after 8. She responded immediately saying: "I did. I was just getting home and saw 4(?) guys by our houses. It was weird. It looked like they had sticks or something in their hands." <br />
<br />
!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
Guess that explained the broken off broom handle. With that information plus the continued barking from Albus, I started to feel a chill run up my back. Could someone have gotten in, seen me coming home and hid somewhere in the house? I dialed non-emergency and went downstairs to look a little closer on the first floor. DJ had suggested that maybe someone had managed to break in through a window in the back of the house and then exited through the back door (it is possible to engage our deadbolt and then slam it shut behind you, leaving the door locked). All of the windows were fine, again nothing out place. As I was talking with the dispatcher, I flipped on the light to go down to our basement and froze. There was a huge dent on the wall behind the backdoor matching the door handle. I was sure that dent hadn't been there before and I started to panic. I immediately went back upstairs and asked them to please send an officer over. She said to be safe and call 911 immediately if anything happened. <br />
<br />
After about 30 minutes, two detectives arrived. I explained the situation, they took some photos and helped me search the house. They said that 3 teens were caught a few blocks away trying to break into another house. The detectives thought that the kids had tried to get into the house but were scared off by the alarm. <br />
<br />
I then proceeded to not sleep again ever.<br />
<br />
The next day, one of the detectives called me. Turns out, there were four teens and they caught the fourth one around 1 AM early that morning. Only one of the four admitted to anything but he did give details about the break-ins. Apparently they were bored and just started breaking into houses in our neighborhood. They managed to KICK IN OUR BACK DOOR (mystery of the doorknob dent= solved) but only got as far as the landing before running back out because of the dog. So the deadbolt was still out, they slammed the door behind them and it locked again. They broke into four other houses (including one where the owner was home!) before being caught. And this was all between 8 and 9 PM on a Tuesday night. Damn.<br />
<br />
lt;dr Some dumb ass kids broke into our house, Albus chased them off and is a mother fucking hero. <br />
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Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11187699120920441165noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3705418234821782517.post-68479745837707661882015-11-04T20:48:00.000-06:002015-11-04T20:48:37.858-06:00NANOWRIMO is a BustAlright. It's only day four and I've decided that I'm jumping off of the NANOWRIMO wagon. You're probably saying "You quit after only FOUR DAYS." But I've discovered several things:<br />
<br />
1. Apparently, since it's been so long since I've written any fiction, I can no longer just sit down and write without a plan. I had a general idea going in but that was about it. Not working.<br />
<br />
B. Having a toddler + mommy brain= CANNOT CONCENTRATE.<br />
<br />
So, since I only got several thousand words in, I'm thinking I'll save what I have, come up with some plans and keep it for next year.<br />
<br />
Not to mention, this frees me up to write more of the other things I've been working on lately. Like the next post...Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11187699120920441165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3705418234821782517.post-83293145037201454632015-10-30T21:05:00.002-05:002015-10-30T21:05:32.013-05:00My Year of Living DangerouslyI've never been a fan of New Year's resolutions. It always seemed that no matter how gung-ho I was about losing weight or eating healthy or not making dead baby jokes I usually fell off the wagon after a few weeks. Well not this year, dammit!<br />
<br />
A few days after 2015 rang in, I decided to give myself a challenge instead of a resolution: I would treat 2015 as my year of living dangerously. I would branch outside of my comfort zone and do things that were challenging; things that maybe even scared me. <br />
<br />
I started by vowing to take part in the entirety of the Photo A Day challenge from one of my favorite websites, <a href="http://foreveryoungadult.com/2015/02/02/fya-photo-a-day-january-2015-wrap-up/" target="_blank">Forever Young Adult</a>. I managed to take a photo and submit it via Instagram for all 31 days of January. That might not sound like a big deal, but I'm the type of person who can't be relied upon to remember to take any sort of daily medication if it isn't sitting on my kitchen table. So this was already a pretty big step for me.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigOCiFyjvnR7bIlGzAvH4GqOiKL7LPPgiYuNxuSJSCesTmX_eaecFppwnJ_jqKogbIoe7xz9NDgCITJEx0fE6azFYfEFRMoi91Qgs0GfADjmFHxTa8LPuEblmN02NUnyIAgPKiqGp8fxEU/s1600/IMG_1624.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigOCiFyjvnR7bIlGzAvH4GqOiKL7LPPgiYuNxuSJSCesTmX_eaecFppwnJ_jqKogbIoe7xz9NDgCITJEx0fE6azFYfEFRMoi91Qgs0GfADjmFHxTa8LPuEblmN02NUnyIAgPKiqGp8fxEU/s400/IMG_1624.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Anyone who knows me should be insanely impressed by this drawing I managed.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHItjzM7cjmCVigIgM59IAh6b0T-euiC6Inz-COBuT_shzMaJrfM8XBHbvWcQaB5wEreCfY9-sTj9nUG2QfloTpwjLB_bw_qFS_ATrVuFclH4m2HJg790nfMRgw4QK2F-bAN8UCF3X1BQ3/s1600/IMG_1633.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHItjzM7cjmCVigIgM59IAh6b0T-euiC6Inz-COBuT_shzMaJrfM8XBHbvWcQaB5wEreCfY9-sTj9nUG2QfloTpwjLB_bw_qFS_ATrVuFclH4m2HJg790nfMRgw4QK2F-bAN8UCF3X1BQ3/s400/IMG_1633.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I had several helpers while working on HP shrink-dinks.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Then there were my reading habits. There are TONS of awesome New Year's reading challenges out there. But I was afraid that I wouldn't have the time to commit fully to a vigorous reading list. So I made my own challenge for the year. I have a tendency to read books by dead American/British white guys. So I vowed to read more books by female authors, authors of other races and non-American/British authors. I am surprised to say that I kicked ass at this personal challenge. Without thinking about it too hard, over 75% of my reading this year has fit those parameters and I don't think I'll go back next year :)<br />
<br />
Another challenge I set for myself and DJ was to watch more movies. Now, before we had a kid, going to the movies was pretty much our main hobby. But since it is far harder to get out these days, I thought it would be cool to try to watch all 100 movies on the <a href="http://www.afi.com/100years/movies10.aspx" target="_blank">AFI Top 100 List</a>. Thus, my Drinking at the Movies blog posts were born. Though now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever posted any of the AFI films yet. But we've drank and watched other movies!<br />
<br />
With my 30th birthday looming, I wanted to do something awesome. DJ told me to pick our vacation destination this year and I chose to return to Maine. I wanted to climb a goddamned mountain! And to drive into Canada and see the Anne of Green Gables house... But before I could attempt to do either of those things, I spent 6 months battling a host of weird and painful symptoms before starting infusion treatments for Ankylosing Spondylitis. What's that? You've never heard of Ankylosing Spondylitis? Well, it's an inflammatory disease, arthritis actually, but not Rheumatoid Arthritis and not Osteoarthritis either. It can cause the vertebrae in your spine to fuse together and you get all kinds of painful joints and swelling issues. Needless to say, this was going to complicate my goal of climbing a mountain. So... I took more steroids than usual and while I didn't make it to the top of the mountain, that was more due to the fact that we needed at least 8 hours to make it up and down Mount Katahdin and we didn't get to Baxter State Park until 2 PM than the fact that my right knee sucks. But we did what I set out to do: I climbed a goddamned mountain! Or at least, stumbled around over her feet like a drunken toddler. <br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8JEOPtGj-y89SWBfkLBvz95LA08KiI1VM5YCG8KJBoM58m0RpkO-D9vRRYKGgooshBntwdJ5ShFF1Yhf6InpB4TsQVYBrGZvAvmUPqVbYuEV1NAMAoasLyDvGpuxoXO2g41vWOLsiJrR4/s1600/IMG_2865.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8JEOPtGj-y89SWBfkLBvz95LA08KiI1VM5YCG8KJBoM58m0RpkO-D9vRRYKGgooshBntwdJ5ShFF1Yhf6InpB4TsQVYBrGZvAvmUPqVbYuEV1NAMAoasLyDvGpuxoXO2g41vWOLsiJrR4/s400/IMG_2865.JPG" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Water from a cool mountain stream.</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCbw-1bweBj1-nDuSMDXfZW0zMmVC_DNHaW-88O3ITkIMwYNFsVYTx4lJMpDNcEQIYUQ_ar013DQtuZwwy5MZEeA4IirqRq7sul8fL29vjfqJVaBMwnL8zVNnmTY9U8PUmRpm3VSor16Wm/s1600/IMG_2875.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCbw-1bweBj1-nDuSMDXfZW0zMmVC_DNHaW-88O3ITkIMwYNFsVYTx4lJMpDNcEQIYUQ_ar013DQtuZwwy5MZEeA4IirqRq7sul8fL29vjfqJVaBMwnL8zVNnmTY9U8PUmRpm3VSor16Wm/s400/IMG_2875.JPG" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hey look, a rock!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcZZo10XoYtAmLO5-Z8toNqljQ-oL7d2nMZsPts7e1Edl5LwP1PRu2j6axnLKHmNOyl5QA0KI4fKU8lEIizorELHa75oduSQClYaj18x7S5A1SPETWxMAmz4jYaWZxWFZGP6zp2yPl5jUU/s1600/IMG_2891.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcZZo10XoYtAmLO5-Z8toNqljQ-oL7d2nMZsPts7e1Edl5LwP1PRu2j6axnLKHmNOyl5QA0KI4fKU8lEIizorELHa75oduSQClYaj18x7S5A1SPETWxMAmz4jYaWZxWFZGP6zp2yPl5jUU/s400/IMG_2891.JPG" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">So sweaty....so tired.</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhngfF6iUeDXItIK0AE77VzW5qrQoFVVcvaymXJMW9X8M-mTGu5Z0yxheM__ezcdhJWbQnr5e2J6wuQ8T3JCWccwgFqn-tyP-qOKTOXTreRTeXR5oio7MH606abQW7oxa03gxaF_gedyv27/s1600/IMG_2905.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhngfF6iUeDXItIK0AE77VzW5qrQoFVVcvaymXJMW9X8M-mTGu5Z0yxheM__ezcdhJWbQnr5e2J6wuQ8T3JCWccwgFqn-tyP-qOKTOXTreRTeXR5oio7MH606abQW7oxa03gxaF_gedyv27/s400/IMG_2905.JPG" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It was straight up the entire hike...</td></tr>
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<br />I had known for a few months that Jenny Lawson (author of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=Jenny+Lawson" target="_blank">two awesome books</a>) was coming to Milwaukee to publicize her new book. Having recently listened to the audio book version of her first book, I was in LOVE with Jenny's honesty and her wonderful reading voice. I had to go. Two problems: A. hubs was going to be out of town at a conference and I would have to take the kiddo with me and B. I'd never been to Boswell Books before. See, I don't really talk about the fact that I have what I have self-diagnosed as a mild social anxiety disorder. I am scared about driving/going to places I have never been before and I have a hard time talking to people I don't know (if they break the ice first, my acting skills kick in and I can fake like I'm normal but inside... it's full-blown panic up in my brain). Anywhoski, I took several hours out of my day off a week before the book signing and went to Boswell's. I didn't get lost. I picked up my pre-ordered book and everything was fine. When the signing night arrived, we got there in time, the toddler stayed in his stroller for an hour and a half, didn't cry and we didn't knock over any book displays. SUCCESS!<br />
<br />
This November, I've decided to try to do <a href="http://nanowrimo.org/" target="_blank">NANOWRIMO</a>. Why would someone who hasn't written any fiction since graduating college suddenly decide to try and write a novel? Because this is MY YEAR AND I AM OWNING IT! I may not finish, but I'm going to try. Like so many of the other things I've done this year, writing is scary for me but I'm going to push through and try. <br />
<br />
Here's to living dangerously!<br />
<br />Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11187699120920441165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3705418234821782517.post-39805962307704497952015-09-18T14:29:00.002-05:002015-09-18T14:29:11.974-05:00Book Review: Between the World and MeTa-Hehisi Coates, a journalist who works for <i>The Atlantic Magazine</i>, is a writer who is constantly being mentioned in the realm of African American intelligentsia. The great Toni Morrison has even gone so far as to consider him the next James Baldwin. Coates' new book <i>Between the World and Me </i>proves this to be a grandiose but true statement in many ways.<br />
<br />
The immediate comparison comes from the mirror between writing conventions. Coates' work is written as a letter to his son explaining the experience of the damage done to black bodies in America. This is very similar to Baldwin's "A Letter to my Nephew on the One Hundredth Anniversary of the Emancipation," a section of his book <i>The Fire Next Time</i>. A section of "Letter" states:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20.8px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I know what the world has done to my brother and how narrowly he has survived it and I know, which is much worse, and this is the crime of which I accuse my country and my countrymen and for which neither I nor time nor history will ever forgive them, that they have destroyed and are destroying hundreds of thousands of lives and do not know it and do not want to know it.</span></span></blockquote>
It is this concept of "the Dream" that Coates often refers to- the idea that the country as a whole is complicit in the crimes against African Americans and does not care to admit it- that shadows his words.<br />
<br />
Coates follows the themes of exploitation, segregation and violence. What is it like to live in a black male body in the United States today? What is it like to have a constant threat of violence enveloping your person? What is it like to live in fear but with a hope that your child will be safe? Coates explains "I tell you now that the question of how one should live within a black body, within a country lost in the Dream, is the question of my life, and the pursuit of this question, I have found, ultimately answers itself."<br />
<br />
He goes on to explain his childhood in Baltimore. That black children were told to be "twice as good" and yet ended up with half as much. That there was a delicate dance if one wanted to survive the streets but that the schools were no protection nor were they a pass into the Dream. He says that:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
The streets were not my only problem. If the streets shackled my right leg, the schools shackled my left. Fail to comprehend the streets and you give up your body now. But fail to comprehend the schools and you gave up your body later.</blockquote>
Coates compares the personal discoveries of injustice between himself and his son. He discusses at length the day when he discovered that one of his college friends had been murdered by an undercover police officer just steps away from his fiance's home. The author then says this about his son's experience:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
That was the week you learned that the killers of Michael Brown would go free. The men who had left his body in the street like some awesome declaration of their inviolable power would never be punished. It was not my expectation that anyone would ever be punished. But you were young and still believed. You stayed up til 11 P.M. that night, waiting for the announcement of an indictment, and when instead it was announced that there was none you said, "I've got to go," and you went into your room, and I hear you crying.</blockquote>
Coates' views are only those of one black man living in America today. He doesn't claim to speak for everyone and he doesn't want absolution. He writes to wake up his white readers and remind his black readers that their bodies <i>do </i> matter. That silence and obedience will not save you from the wrath of the Dream. <br />
<br />
This book has made me want to ask many questions; chief among them being "I don't want to be an ignorant white person who is complicit in perpetuating this terrible system! What do I *do* next?" It is a fascinating and heart-breaking read.Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11187699120920441165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3705418234821782517.post-62155528150401876912015-07-19T00:14:00.000-05:002015-07-19T00:14:18.928-05:00Live Blog Post: Tommy Wiseau's The Room- Interview with Tommy Wiseau<br />
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OH MY GOD THE INTERVIEW WITH TOMMY WISEAU IS ANSWERING ALL OF MY BURNING QUESTIONS! Why were the actors playing football while wearing tuxedos only standing 3 feet apart??? WHY?????</div>
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So... because it was fun to play football in a big field. Got it.</div>
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Q: What did you accomplish?</div>
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A: I finished what I started. </div>
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"I am planning on releasing a DVD documentary about HD and 35mm comparison... andalsowriteabookaboutit."</div>
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YOU GUYS! HE IS WRITING A BOOK!</div>
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And after this is all over, I am wondering if any of these people EVER acted again. God I hope not.</div>
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Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11187699120920441165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3705418234821782517.post-8965666561147703882015-07-18T23:59:00.000-05:002015-07-18T23:59:28.295-05:00Live Post: Tommy Wiseau's The Room- Finale During yet another sex scene, Hubs: Do you think there is a soundtrack for this? I'm looking that up on Spotify right now...<br />
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Pause<br />
<br />
Hubs: Nope. Doesn't look like it. At least, not on Spotify. Bastards.<br />
<br />
Play.<br />
<br />
Another football-throwing scene. I'm not sure which Tommy likes more, awkward sex scenes or awkward football-throwing scenes. <br />
<br />
"XYZ, Mark."<br />
"What?"<br />
"Examine Your Zipper! You guys are too much!"<br />
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"You think you can get it all from Mark?"<br />
"If he can't give it to me, someone will."<br />
<br />
WOW.<br />
<br />
God Lisa, you are such a bitch.<br />
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Grandma, why did you come over again?<br />
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Hubs: The breast cancer. That's why.<br />
<br />
_<br />
<br />
Watching Johnny walk through downtown San Francisco, Hubs: Has this guy every watched a movie before?<br />
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Me: I think I've heard cats sing 'Happy Birthday' better than this...<br />
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Well THAT was a short party!<br />
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Oh, nope. Still happening. <br />
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HE KNOWS! JOHNNY KNOWS THAT LISA AND MARK ARE DOING IT!!!!<br />
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Ugh. This Buzzball drink is disgusting.<br />
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The Hubs laughs. <br />
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Why did you let me drink this?!?!<br />
<br />
Wait, now Lisa is making out with Mark at Johnny's party? Who is this asshole who just came in the front door to discover them? WHAT IS HAPPENING???<br />
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WHY IS JOHNNY TELLING EVERYONE AT THE PARTY THAT THEY'RE HAVING A BABY????<br />
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WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!<br />
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LISA, YOU BITCH!!!! So she really is a complete sociopath... huh.<br />
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"What's it to you?"<br />
"You're going to shake up our group of friends!"<br />
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Oh. So THAT'S why I shouldn't lie to Johnny and cheat on him with his best friend? Oh, OK.<br />
<br />
_<br />
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Ok. So that awkward fight didn't happen and now Lisa and Mark are dancing all sexy-like? Sure. Cool.<br />
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"I'llkillyouI'llbreakeveryboneinyourbody."<br />
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"Everybody betrayed me! I'm fed up with this world."<br />
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"I cleaned up the kitchen, honey, so you don't have to worry about that."<br />
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Right. Thanks, mom! Because I am totally thinking about housekeeping when my fiancé who I cheated on has locked himself in the bathroom all night. But the kitchen is clean so...cool.<br />
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_<br />
<br />
"you can come out now, Johnny, she's gone."<br />
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"In a few minutes, bitch."<br />
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"Who are you calling a bitch?"<br />
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"You and your mother."<br />
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_<br />
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The tape! The tape magically lasted for like, 18 hours. <br />
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"I gave you 7 years of my life!"<br />
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Also, said tape recorded BOTH sides of the phone conversation...<br />
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"I'm leaving you, Johnny."<br />
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ABOUT GODDAMNED TIME!<br />
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Hubs: I feel like a sex scene is about to happen but it'll just be him. Alone in his bed.<br />
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OMG Johnny, you're drunk. Go home. Or at least stop half-heartedly knocking shit over.<br />
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Lisa's gone, who do you think is gonna clean it up???<br />
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JOHNNY HAS A GUN!!!!<br />
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I don't think I've ever been so glad to see a character commit suicide. <br />
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Mark the doctor says he's dead. <br />
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OH MY GOD, JOHNNY'S DEAD!!!!!<br />
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Twist! Mark doesn't love her and everything is ALL HER FAULT!<br />
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GODDAMNED IT DENNY! QUIT SHOWING UP UNANNOUNCED!<br />
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Then Denny chapped his hands and shouted "I do believe in fairies! I do believe in fairies!" And Johnny got up off of the floor and walked away completely unharmed.<br />
<br />
THE END.<br />
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Nope. Johnny's still dead. <br />
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FIN.<br />
<br />Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11187699120920441165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3705418234821782517.post-86783750901807948842015-07-18T23:17:00.003-05:002015-07-18T23:17:42.608-05:00Live Blog: Tommy' Wiseau's The Room Part 7Me: Wait. What's happening. Why is Johnny cheeping like a chicken? Oh, Mark's not a chicken. He just doesn't like weirdos. Got it.<br />
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This story about Johnny moving to San Francisco is soooo awkward.<br />
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And everyone leaves except for awkward Denny. Any why is he asking about Lisa's wedding dress? What supposedly straight 18 year old boy asks about the wedding dress of the chick he's in love with? <br />
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Is that a joint Mark???? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT, MARK???? I've got this sick feeling in my stomach, man. And only weed can cure it.<br />
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Mark! You fucking high bastard! Don't throw the random psychologist friend off the roof! FUCK!<br />
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Ok. So how did the psychologist guess it was Lisa? What clues were there? What did I miss? I was tying furiously...<br />
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Hubs: Poor Mark.<br />
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Mark: She's such a manipulative bitch! (and the reason I tried to throw you off the roof.)<br />
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Fucking psychologist: How'd you let this happen?<br />
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Mark: Fuck!<br />
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Random psychologist: You want my advice? Sometimes, life get's complicated. And you've got to be responsible. So you don't see Lisa again. And you definitely don't sleep with her again."<br />
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WHERE IS THE NOBEL PRIZE FOR OBVIOUS STATEMENTS!!! GIVE THIS MAN A MEDAL!!!!<br />
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Psychologist: She's a sociopath. She can't love anyone. <br />
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That succubus, sociopathic BITCH! <br />
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FUCK YOU, LISA!!!<br />
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_<br />
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What the what is with that tuxedo?<br />
<br />
"Oh Hi Denny." <br />
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WHY DOES DENNY THE HOMELESS ORPHAN TEEN OWN A TUXEDO???<br />
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Holy shit! Mark shaved!<br />
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"You look great. You look like a babyface, y'know?" Yes Johnny, we know.<br />
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Denny (Whining in an annoying little bitch): Come on! Play football with meeeeee!!!!!<br />
<br />
_<br />
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Who are these random assholes ordering coffee? Why do we care about this? Lemme guess: Johnny is their favorite customer?<br />
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Also, WHY were they all wearing tuxedos in the last scene.<br />
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Hubs (after pausing the movie and taking 30 seconds to think): I have no fucking idea. There must have been some reference we missed. But even so, what is the point???? Just a bunch of guys throwing a football around in an alley. While wearing tuxedos.<br />
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People are really fucking concerned about cheesecake at this coffeeshop. Related: what coffeeshops carry cheesecake because I'm pretty sure that's not a thing...<br />
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"How was work today?"<br />
"Oh pretty good. We got a new client at the bank. We make a lot of money."<br />
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So... just the one client today, huh? <br />
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And why does Mark care about this client?<br />
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"I can't tell you. It's confidential. So how's your sex life?"<br />
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KING OF THE NONSEQUITUR, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!<br />
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_<br />
<br />
And another goddamned sex scene. Ugh. I thought Mr. Psychologist told Mark NOT to sleep with Lisa. Goddamn it, Mark.<br />
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Hubs: Is this Monica singing?<br />
<br />Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11187699120920441165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3705418234821782517.post-35863033440205098652015-07-18T22:52:00.002-05:002015-07-18T22:52:53.627-05:00Live Blog: Tommy Wiseau's The Room Part 6I'm sorry, "Showing everybody 'me underwears.'" Mike, dude. You can just call them 'underwear.' Or maybe fancy fanny pants? <br />
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Hubs: I'm loving his frosted tips.<br />
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Johnny: That's life. (in response to the 'underwears' story).<br />
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Hubs: That should be enshrined on a fucking tombstone.<br />
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Pause.<br />
<br />
I am laughing so hard that I'm afraid I am going to pee my pants. After I catch my breath, I run to the bathroom and come back to the living room where the Hubs is contemplating the mystery of the football. Mark had the football first. Then Johnny took it. Now Denny shows up in a different location and brings the football with him. Why does he show up in a random room with a football???<br />
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Hubs: Maybe Tommy Wiseau has a riddle that is imbedded in the football... This isn't catch! This is hot potato! What is happening? So are we supposed to infer that Mike just tripped over his frosted tips? <br />
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"Let's go home, Denny." -Johnny<br />
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"Ok."- An awkward Denny.<br />
<br />
_<br />
<br />
Hubs: So Grandma is trying to shake down her daughter's finance for money??? He's watching! Here comes the blowup. You know he's really involved in what's being said because you can actually see his eyes...<br />
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Me: What party is this? Where? Why? Who? HUH?!?!?<br />
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Yeah Johnny, you record those awful bitches. That'll prove your innocence! On a cassette tape! Sweet! <br />
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Hubs: Does this guy not understand how a tape works? Why is he recording now??? Even if the party were 30 minutes from now, there's no one in the room!<br />
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Who is this Peter guy??? Oh! He's a psychologist. He should probably give you some sound psychological advice.<br />
<br />
"You know what they say: 'Love is blind.'" Wow. So awkward. <br />
<br />
Hubs: You know, we've seen some awkward acting in community theater but this is... wow. <br />
<br />
Pause.<br />
<br />
Drink refill for the Hubs.<br />
<br />
Play.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11187699120920441165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3705418234821782517.post-68661425870458185022015-07-18T22:31:00.002-05:002015-07-18T22:31:57.593-05:00Live Blog: Tommy Wiseau's The Room Part 5WHO THE HELL ARE MICHELLE AND MIKE???? <br />
<br />
AND WHY WERE THEY GETTING BUSY AT LISA'S???<br />
<br />
What was the point of this scene????<br />
<br />
Johnny wanted to adopt Denny? Why? That kid is a creeper.<br />
<br />
Hubs: Again, Johnny is a saint. And it only took su 33 minutes to figure out who Denny was.<br />
<br />
Me: what guy is wearing a stocking cap. He must be dangerous!<br />
<br />
"You want five fucking minutes, Denny?"<br />
<br />
"Where's my fucking money, Denny????"<br />
<br />
Johnny to the rescue! <br />
<br />
Lisa: What kind of money? What kind of money, Denny????<br />
<br />
Me: The green kind, bitch! What do you think???<br />
<br />
_<br />
<br />
Johnny: Are you OK Denny?<br />
<br />
Denny: I'm OK.<br />
<br />
Johnny: Are you OK Denny???<br />
<br />
HE'S FUCKING OK!!!!!<br />
<br />
"You know better, Denny."<br />
<br />
"I know. It won't happen again, I promise!"<br />
<br />
Spoken like a true addict.<br />
<br />
Hubs: Johnny's eyes were shut the ENTIRE SCENE.<br />
<br />
_<br />
<br />
Mark: I don't understand you.<br />
<br />
Damn right, you don't. She's a fucking sociopath who uses ALL MEN!<br />
<br />
_<br />
<br />
And here it is:<br />
<br />
In one huge puke stream of consciousness: I did hit her!It's not true!It's bullshit!I did not hit her!I did not!Oh 'hi' Mark."<br />
<br />
Hubs: Were his eyes completely shut for that entire thing??? <br />
<br />
Me: No. He blinks at the end.<br />
<br />
Hubs: "She says I hit her." "Well did you?" "Don't even ask." YOU BROUGHT IT UP! You know what would be great, if the real-life Patton Oswald were here in each scene of the entire movie. Or better yet, Louis C.K. "YOU JUST BROUGHT IT UP!!!!"<br />
<br />
Mark: DO you think girls like to cheat like guys do? <br />
<br />
Oh Mark, you dumb sonofabitch. <br />
<br />
So Mark tells you that a woman had 12 lovers and after one found out, he beat her so badly that she was in a hospital. Then you laugh and say "What a good story, Mark."????? HUH?!?<br />
<br />
I need a goddamn cookie. <br />
<br />
"Oh man, I just can't figure women out. Sometimes they're just oo smart. Sometimes they're flat out stupid. Other times they're just evil."<br />
<br />
Pause<br />
<br />
Hubs: So... smart's bad. Dumb's bad. And evil's bad.<br />
<br />
Oh Mark. You stupid, stupid fool. Lisa is going to devour you and spit out your slow, stupid bones.<br />
<br />
Play<br />
<br />
Hubs: What IS bothering you, dude? He knows there's a secret! Johnny is in charge now because he took the football. The power is contained in the football.<br />
<br />
Me: I love that it is the exact same inflection every time Johnny says "Oh hi, Denny."<br />
<br />
Hubs: "Girl trouble, I guess." Oh Johnny, you'll find out soon.<br />
<br />
_<br />
<br />
Hubs: Ok seriously. What is with his mandibles? If looks like there is a Q-tip or something shoved down there... No! It's like he was at the dentist and just left those gauze rolls in there! He was like "Aw shit. I have to keep shooting this."<br />
<br />
_<br />
<br />
"He HIT YOU? ARE YOU OK?"<br />
<br />
Finally someone asks the important questions! Too bad HE NEVER ACTUALLY HIT YOU. Lying bitch. <br />
<br />
"Something awful is going to happen." Yes. Yes it is.<br />
<br />
Hubs: Question- This movie is called <i>The Room</i>. So is it this room? What room?<br />
<br />
Me: .............<br />
<br />
_<br />
<br />
I have never seen a man so frantic to speak to a woman! YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, LISA!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11187699120920441165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3705418234821782517.post-56594460008098083742015-07-18T22:03:00.002-05:002015-07-18T22:03:18.442-05:00Live Blog: Tommy Wiseau's The Room Part 4The flower shop scene.<br />
<br />
WHAT IS HAPPENING??????<br />
<br />
Hubs: Seriously, what is up with the sound in this movie??? I think the Boom Mic guy just up and quit or something...<br />
<br />
"You are my favorite customer."<br />
<br />
Hubs: I'm not surprised he's buys flowers. After what we saw with those rose petals earlier. Yeah. he's your favorite customer all right.<br />
<br />
_<br />
<br />
Lisa orders a pizza.<br />
<br />
Also, Denny reappears. Who is Denny???? A person who answers the door and says "I'm really busy right now." does NOT offer the person at the door a drink. SIMPLE ETIQUETTE, LISA!!!!<br />
<br />
Hubs: What are the chances she has sex with Denny?<br />
<br />
If you have to go after 5 seconds Denny, why the FUCK did you come over in the first place????<br />
<br />
"I didn't get any calls today. You're right, the computer business is too competitive."<br />
<br />
WHAT??? This is BEFORE tons of people did computers. Is this before or after the .com bust? I need a tech historian. <br />
<br />
_<br />
<br />
"You know what you need?"<br />
<br />
A blowjob?<br />
<br />
"A drink."<br />
<br />
Or a drink.<br />
<br />
"You know I don't drink!"<br />
<br />
So she's going to take even more advantage of him than she already is, that crazy harlot.<br />
<br />
"If you love me, you'll drink this."<br />
<br />
"You're right, it tastes good." Said no person ever.<br />
<br />
_<br />
<br />
"You have nice legs, Lisa."<br />
<br />
Why is he whining about having sex with her? I thought he loved her and stuff? Plus, he is sloppy-ass drunk. He should be tearing off her clothes...<br />
<br />
Cue the 90s/early 00s music.<br />
<br />
Hubs: I wonder if they have Denny light the candles (in the bedroom) for them...<br />
<br />
_<br />
<br />
Hubs: I feel like I just saw this...<br />
<br />
Me: No! That position! I swear we did JUST see this! That looks like the same footage!<br />
<br />
_<br />
<br />
Me: Nope. Pure misogyny. The Grandma doesn't want to give her brother any of her house. She's a totally bitch. Who is DYING OF BREAST CANCER? And just casually mentions in this convo that the tests DID come back positive???<br />
<br />
"He's seeing dollar signs. Everything goes wrong all at once. Nobody wants to help me. And I'm dying." !!!!!!<br />
<br />
Hubs: Let's dissect this. Lisa says "Mom you're not dying." So she's totally in the dark right now. Then the mom says "I got the test results back. I definitely have breast cancer." Like she's got a mole or something! Lisa says "Look, Don't Worry about it. Everything will be fine." <br />
<br />
YOUR MOM TELLS YOU SHE FOR SHIZZLE HAS CANCER AND THIS BITCH IS ALL LIKE "DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT."<br />
<br />
Yep. All women are preeeeeetty much bitches.<br />
<br />
_<br />
<br />
HE HIT YOU? YOU LYING BITCH!<br />
<br />
Also, your daughter just told you her fiancé is abusing her and you're all like "I gotta go."<br />
<br />
_<br />
<br />
Who the fuck are these random people? Isn't this Johnny an/or Lisa's house? Why are random people having sex with chocolate here?<br />
<br />
Hubs: maybe they couldn't afford 2 separate sets.<br />
<br />
<br />Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11187699120920441165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3705418234821782517.post-44068743556156846502015-07-18T21:40:00.002-05:002015-07-18T21:40:59.662-05:00Live Blog: Tommy Wiseau's The Room Part 3Me: He's getting a promotion! Swoon!<br />
<br />
So Grandma is her mom. Dunno about yawl but I don't particularly like parading around in my lingerie in front of my mom the morning after banging some guy I don't actually like...<br />
<br />
Also, why on earth did Grandma even come over??? That convo lasted 2 minutes!<br />
<br />
And she's a bitch ruining your life. What are you, 13?<br />
<br />
Hubs: What was he doing that made him so busy??? Damn it! We'll never know. There he is. He is no longer busy.<br />
<br />
Me: Uh oh. I think something weird and sexual is about to go down.<br />
<br />
Hubs: I think Tommy Wiseau has seen too many "Red Shoe Diaries."<br />
<br />
_<br />
<br />
Yes, stupid guy. She is TRYING TO SEDUCE YOU!!!!<br />
<br />
"Don't you like me? I'm 'your girl.'"<br />
<br />
_<br />
<br />
<br />
WHAAAAA? He's Johnny's best friend?!?!?! How many more seconds until they bang? Because that's going to happen. Also, who asks someone to "make love" to them anymore? What is this, 1925?<br />
<br />
MAKE OUUUUUUT!<br />
<br />
Cue the BoyzIIMen.<br />
<br />
Surprise: it's TLC, not BoyzIIMen!<br />
<br />
_<br />
<br />
Sex on the stairs? Are they in the basement? Where are they???? They like, aren't even moving...<br />
<br />
Hubs: Ah, the butt crack. Actually, I bet this (singer) is one of the homeless people from EnVogue.<br />
<br />
"didn't you enjoy it???"<br />
"That's not the point."<br />
<br />
Pause.<br />
<br />
Hubs: So a serious note. This is really starting to smack of misogyny, right? No really, you have Johnny who is a nice guy and then this chick is going to like, take all of his money and leave him. So either Wiseau thinks that women are like this or that Lisa is the antagonist of the story. She's a caricature. I mean really, both male characters are supposedly "really nice guys" and this chick is some succubus or something.<br />
<br />
Play<br />
<br />
"You're beautiful, but we can't do this anymore."<br />
<br />
"Hey. This will be our secret."<br />
<br />
Oooooh I wouldn't bet on it, Mark. I wouldn't bet on it.<br />
<br />
<br />Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11187699120920441165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3705418234821782517.post-63911406302658057202015-07-18T21:26:00.000-05:002015-07-18T21:26:04.312-05:00Live Blog: Tommy Wiseau's The Room Part 2There is a gift of a horrid orange piece of clothing. Or maybe it is red? She can't turn in a circle.<br />
<br />
Is he high? I think Johnny is high. "Anything for my Princess!" Totally high.<br />
<br />
Hubs: He's the type of guy who if he showed up at your door and said he had to tell you that he as a registered sex offender, you wouldn't not be at all surprised.<br />
<br />
_<br />
<br />
Hubs: Who is this kid? Why is he there and why are they messing around upstairs. Wait. Why is he joining them?!?!<br />
<br />
Kid on the screen (Derrick? Danny?): I just like to watch you guys.<br />
<br />
Pause.<br />
<br />
What the actual FUCK????<br />
<br />
Also, googling would prove that the kid's character is name 'Denny.'<br />
<br />
-<br />
<br />
"Denny, Two is great but three's a crowd."<br />
<br />
!!!!!!<br />
<br />
Awkward silence...<br />
<br />
"I get it. You two want to be alone."<br />
<br />
So is she his mom or his babysitter? Also, Johnny keeps saying the kid's name like it is 'Danny' not 'Denny.'<br />
<br />
-<br />
<br />
Is this a software porn?<br />
<br />
Hubs: Is this one of the guys from BoyzIIMen? <br />
<br />
_<br />
<br />
Hubs: So, we're like, 5 minutes in, right?<br />
<br />
Me: So exactly how awkward is this going to get?<br />
<br />
Hubs: They seem very obsessed with that flower. <br />
<br />
_<br />
<br />
Hubs: What are the odds Denny is watching? I am almost 100% sure this guy told her it had to be as accurate as possible so they really needed to have sex. And she promptly told him to go fuck himself.<br />
<br />
Me: She has rose petals stuck to her back. Wait, was it night before? I thought it was daytime???<br />
<br />
Hubs: Good point. Poor Denny must be hungry. What is with the fucking flower??? Goddamn it! Why do we have to see his bare ass walking away???<br />
<br />
"Can I get you anything?"<br />
"Uh uh. I have to go now."<br />
"Ok."<br />
<br />
Me: Who is this this grandma??? Why is she there??? <br />
<br />
Pause<br />
<br />
Well, at least Grandma is laying this all out in terms we can understand.<br />
<br />
"You've known him for five years. You're engaged to him. He supports you. And you can't support yourself."<br />
<br />
Does she have some disability we don't know about that makes it so Lisa can't work? She looked fine enough while having sex... what is happening?<br />
<br />
Play<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11187699120920441165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3705418234821782517.post-2675270111384002952015-07-18T21:11:00.000-05:002015-07-18T21:11:03.069-05:00Live Blog- Tommy Wiseau's The Room Part 1Other than the film rating, the first thing on the screen is a giant "Wiseau Films" production banner comes on.<br />
<br />
Me: This guy has his own production company?<br />
Hubs: I'm pretty sure this was his only film. He did it all himself. Maybe he filled out a few forms or something.<br />
<br />
Question for film people: How exactly does that work? Does one just fill out a few forms, pay some fees and magically have their own production company?<br />
<br />
Pause.<br />
<br />
It appears we are in San Fran. So... to quote the hubs "So... some Room in San Francisco?"<br />
<br />
We've got a lot of juxtaposition of scenic shots vs. actor names. Classy? I'm not convinced.<br />
<br />
The hubs brings up a good point: would you or wouldn't you want to have you name taken off this afterwards? He thinks no since it is a cult classic. <br />
<br />
Hubs: Those look like the houses from <i>Full House</i>. What was it Michelle said? "Whatever, Dude."<br />
<br />
Me: That would be "You've got it, dude!"<br />
<br />
Hubs: Or was that Stephanie's?<br />
<br />
Me: No. Hers was "How rude!"<br />
<br />
Play.<br />
<br />
Oh! We're actually INSIDE a room!!!Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11187699120920441165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3705418234821782517.post-4445415949385745312015-07-18T21:01:00.001-05:002015-07-18T21:01:25.802-05:00Live Blog: Tommy Wiseau's The Room- Preface<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
Alrighty. I am ready. <br />
<br />
How did this happen, you ask? Well, it all started when the hubs said "Does the library own <i>The Room? </i>Because I feel like I really need to see it and I never have." My library did not, but I placed a hold and within the week, a copy was waiting for me on the holds shelf. People make all kinds of crazy comments in their film reviews. And people use all kinds of altering substances to "ponder the meaning of life." So why not combine both of these things in a live blog? <br />
<br />
I've been meaning to get back on this blog. It started as a personal project to kill some time when we first moved and then became sort of a profession-related blog. But I'm thinking it should be a combo of the two. So here I am, bringing you *slightly* inappropriate blog posts since 2012.<br />
<br />
We're squared away and ready to start the movie*. I am wearing my favorite pj pants (they have corgis!) and my Always Sunny "Kitten Mittens" T-shirt. We have popcorn. And none of that microwaved shit. Straight-up air popped with REAL ASS BUTTER and salt. Just like Grandma Richardson used to make. Also, some leftover Sam's Club cookies and a giant drink. It isn't a specific alcoholic concoction. It was basically a bunch of vodka and whatever weird odds and ends I could find in the fridge left from last weekend (lime juice, orange juice, ginger ale, Sierra Mist...). <br />
<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDdteb7V4w4_eNiS9T8G8kYPy1zGKudUKihrP5WnAuiU_umhv2RXrCj2VT2q3DZXtbfAbHSkpLLdtkOMyh9LEsaEc0pMJNvyQb1ZZ5JRXEs0L1LZYf3z9-nJdrQKlQ0boWv_kHSVlxKs5l/s1600/IMG_2225.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDdteb7V4w4_eNiS9T8G8kYPy1zGKudUKihrP5WnAuiU_umhv2RXrCj2VT2q3DZXtbfAbHSkpLLdtkOMyh9LEsaEc0pMJNvyQb1ZZ5JRXEs0L1LZYf3z9-nJdrQKlQ0boWv_kHSVlxKs5l/s320/IMG_2225.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjChIkK3m8mRFruhmEDyUoaP49ZEuAv_6zIxsp5GEizYMmE_djAx-HO4UedxDQIJj26f6QPvM7tOW3L_co_6PcbbmZUhs9SfuIck6S7d4xdasE6Ya6Hfbd1ON9z3PlUUaOfW9PuTFJYrhox/s1600/IMG_2226.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjChIkK3m8mRFruhmEDyUoaP49ZEuAv_6zIxsp5GEizYMmE_djAx-HO4UedxDQIJj26f6QPvM7tOW3L_co_6PcbbmZUhs9SfuIck6S7d4xdasE6Ya6Hfbd1ON9z3PlUUaOfW9PuTFJYrhox/s400/IMG_2226.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me giving you (and Penny) the Eyebrow.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
We celebrated in true pre-game fashion and had a shot. <br />
<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJBCPydqHzyadHrkSf-uZYoqzbDbvwRnyYlmq3ElK_ztXOdekU866BHDa0Ceb0_yvCj9J5nNNUj03CSWpb9vBepnMlwqHcZnhe7g15spCBmpl3fbwBwtjnKFbGAPrs6M_jsnpk_HH2XosK/s1600/IMG_2217.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJBCPydqHzyadHrkSf-uZYoqzbDbvwRnyYlmq3ElK_ztXOdekU866BHDa0Ceb0_yvCj9J5nNNUj03CSWpb9vBepnMlwqHcZnhe7g15spCBmpl3fbwBwtjnKFbGAPrs6M_jsnpk_HH2XosK/s400/IMG_2217.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Note the use of my classy "Spring Break 2008" shot glass.<br /><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdVTGIl2VP4q9HairD_SJBniSwpAsMWnwa_h2pRF82MruF0xRj6dIoi50nW7j4vD_LALcKESoNkKNNlSRxrWtebWWBPmAwCoPv8UOyB-sR-9JSoOhdm0lnofqY8uOZoSMtQ3srhfButIFt/s1600/IMG_2220.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdVTGIl2VP4q9HairD_SJBniSwpAsMWnwa_h2pRF82MruF0xRj6dIoi50nW7j4vD_LALcKESoNkKNNlSRxrWtebWWBPmAwCoPv8UOyB-sR-9JSoOhdm0lnofqY8uOZoSMtQ3srhfButIFt/s320/IMG_2220.JPG" width="240" /></a><br />
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And here we go!<br />
<br />
*The laptop hates me and won't let me add my photos where I want them so they will be added either spastically or after I am sober (so like, tomorrow?). <br />
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<br />Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11187699120920441165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3705418234821782517.post-2313951509201543632014-03-21T16:24:00.000-05:002014-03-21T16:24:22.626-05:00Crazy-ass Literary Fiction OR Middle C by William H. Gass<strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Book Type: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Crazy-ass literary fiction</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.880001068115234px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;"><br /></span><strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Stereotype Alert: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Too weird for traditional stereotypes...</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.880001068115234px;" /><strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;"><br /></strong><strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Cover Art: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Someone stole my keyboard and all they left me was middle C and C#/Db.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.880001068115234px;" /><strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;"><br /></strong><strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Bed/Bride/Bludgeon: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Jesus. You sort of want to put everyone out of their misery at one point or another, but one has to wonder if a lay or two would have made Joseph a bit more normal. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.880001068115234px;" /><strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;"><br /></strong><strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Character Score: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">5.5-6 Mr. Micawbers</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.880001068115234px;" /><strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;"><br /></strong><strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">What's the Story?: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">The life of Joseph Skizzen manages to be complete run of the mill and just plain crazy all at once. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.880001068115234px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;"><b>X-Factor: </b>Holocaust reversal</span><br />
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<strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Stereotype Alert: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">I can't even. Psychologically there's plenty stereotypical about Joseph. But in the context of how his story is told... I guess the descriptions of small Midwestern religious colleges are a bit stereotypical. But they are spot on at the same time.</span><br />
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<strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Cover Art: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">I actually think this is a really beautiful cover. It does fool the reader into expecting to read something WAY different, however.</span><br />
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<strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Bed/Bride/Bludgeon: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Really. Not going there. I feel like there aren't enough characters in this book for me to even cast this properly unless everyone gets a "bludgeon."</span><br />
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<strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Character Score: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">I really enjoyed Miriam. And Rudi is so wacky that you can't really help but wonder where Joseph gets his weirdness- even if (especially if???) he did grow up without his father around. Gass did a great job of creating veeeeery unique characters.</span><br />
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<strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">What's the Story?</strong><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Middle C </span></i><span style="font-size: 11pt;">is unlike any other novel I have ever read. The storytelling doesn’t unfold in typical
linear fashion and because of this the reader becomes increasingly curious
about how our narrator, Joseph Skizzen, gets from point A to point Z. Joseph’s tale begins before he is even born,
with his parents and sister living in their native Graz, Austria just before
the dawn of World War II. Sensing that
the Nazis will soon be creating more than their fair share of problems in his
homeland, Rudi Skizzen flees to London with his family by pretending that they
are Jewish refugees. Joseph is born
shortly after their arrival and the Skizzen (now called Fixel) family manages
to survive the Blitz. Joseph’s father
“reinvents” or renames himself several more times and then disappears
mysteriously after the war. After desperately
searching for her husband, Joseph’s mother Miriam then manages to relocate
herself and her two children to a small town in rural Ohio. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And here is where
Joseph’s story takes off. We can see the
two Skizzen children grow into their new lives as Americans. Joseph is quiet and not particularly
book-smart while his sister Debbie becomes a cheerleader and wants to be a part
of all things fashionable. Joseph begins
to enjoy his piano lessons with a local teacher, but it is apparent that he is
self-taught in playing popular tunes than anything else. We are then shown a look at Joseph as an
older man, one who has used the entire attic of his large home to house what he
calls his “Inhumanity Museum” which is host to countless newspaper clippings
spotlighting all manner of man’s terrible acts.
We bounce back and forth in time to see Joseph working as a high
schooler in a music store, then as a college professor, then a college student,
then as an assistant in a small town library.
Each sector of Joseph’s life creates another layer of lies he tells
himself to continue on his way. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I began this book
thinking (due to the title) that it was about music. And in many ways, music plays a big role in
Joseph’s life. But the result of Gass’s
novel is so unlike any story I’ve seen told that it is hard to place my finger
on what the biggest point of the narrative truly is. <i>Middle
C </i> is a fascinating, careening tour
through the mind of a seemingly ordinary man who lives a seemingly ordinary
life but it is certainly an extraordinary novel. </span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<b style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">X-Factor: </b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Seriously. How many books have you read about Jewish people pretending to be Christian so that they could escape Germany/Poland/Austria etc. and persecution at the hand of the Nazis? Now how many books have you read where someone pretends to be Jewish so they could escape the Nazis? Until now, I had read zero. God I hope this wasn't an actual thing that happened on a regular basis at the time. It just seems so... icky. But in the context of setting up Rudi and his eccentricities, it worked like a charm.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">I can't say enough about this book. I really can't- my grasp of the English language and my own personal feelings cannot fully encompass all that I would like to say about this novel. If you are generally a reader of literary fiction, I would highly recommend it. That's all I can really say. </span></div>
Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11187699120920441165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3705418234821782517.post-70536437901499842272014-01-08T11:28:00.001-06:002014-01-08T15:16:48.733-06:00Momma Said There'd Be Days Like This OR Glitter and Glue by Kelly Corrigan<strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Book Type: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">C</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">oming of age-ish memoir</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;"><br /></span><strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Stereotype Alert: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Nada</span><br />
<strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;"><br /></strong><strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Cover Art: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Mail Call!</span><br />
<strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;"><br /></strong><strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Bed/Bride/Bludgeon: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Following my rule about books dealing with cancer, I'm not going there on this one.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;"> </span><br />
<strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;"><br /></strong><strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Character Score: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">7</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;"> out of 10 Mr. Micawbers</span><br />
<strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;"><br /></strong><strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">What's the Story?: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">A young woman sets out to see the world and become Interesting. While nannying for an Australian family who has just lost their mother to cancer, her views on what makes life worth living begin to shift.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;"><b>X-Factor: </b>Globetrotting</span><br />
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<strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Stereotype Alert: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">I haven't read a lot of memoirs. And I really haven't read, well, <i>any</i> memoirs that deal with motherhood. And while most of this book takes place long before the author has any children of her own, I really identified with her thoughts and feelings. </span><br />
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<strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Cover Art: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">I know this book takes place (mostly) in 1992 before the age of email, but I love seeing the big stack of handwritten letters. And red being my favorite color... an eye-catching book for sure! </span><br />
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<strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Character Score: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Not so much a comment on the characters since this is a work of non fiction, but I really loved Corrigan's writing voice. </span><br />
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<strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">What's the Story?: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">I originally picked up the advanced copy of this book because I thought it was a funny memoir by a crafty person. Like Jen Lancaster's <i>Tao of Martha</i> or Amy Sedaris's <i>I Like You</i>. What a misleading title! But after reading the blurb on the back of the book, I thought it would still be worth a go and I was not disappointed.</span><br />
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Kelly Corrigan is a young woman in her early 20s. She longs for adventure, for a chance to have
interesting new experiences that you can only have when you “leave the house.” She and her college roommate decide to go on
a round-the-world trip beginning in Taipei.
The two are on the road for two months before they run out of cash while
in Sydney, Australia. Corrigan pictured
herself working in a bar or restaurant to save up money for the next leg of her
trip; not playing nanny to two kids whose mother has recently died of
cancer. And she certainly never
expected to travel more than half way around the world to connect with her
mother, of all people. But this book is
all about difference between what you imagine and what is. About what you think is important, and what
actually is important. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Corrigan uses a lot of flashbacks to talk about the type of
person her mother is. She makes it very
plain that she and her mother have virtually nothing in common. Her mother is a practical woman. One who doesn’t spoil her children and makes
them follow her rules at all times. Her
father, however, was always a pleasant, outgoing guy who loved to spend time
with his kids after work and called his only daughter “Lovie.” But as her mother liked to remind her
daughter, “Your father’s the glitter but I’m the glue.” Corrigan relishes the opportunity to be
living her own adventure away from her mother’s nagging but soon finds that her
mother’s voice is the one constantly giving her advice on how to care for the
Tanner children. As the weeks tick by,
Corrigan is struck by how the Tanner family learns to survive without a
mother. The harder she tries to help the
children, the more she thinks about her own mother and slowly discovers that
life’s true adventure is experiencing life within a family. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>Glitter and Glue</i> is a quick read that is a different type of coming of age memoir. It begins with a young woman's quest for independence and excitement and ends with her deep feelings about the importance of family. Maybe it's just because I'm going to be a mother soon, but I <i>really</i> enjoyed this book. <i>Glitter and Glue</i> is available everywhere February 4th 2014. </div>
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<br />Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11187699120920441165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3705418234821782517.post-55213461533672307862014-01-03T15:17:00.001-06:002014-01-03T15:30:32.424-06:00Can't Hardly Wait for Downton Abbey? OR Snobs by Julian Fellowes<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">OK. It's been a while. I really have been reading books since October. I even wrote a few of them up for the Staff Reads blog at work. But I have been incredibly lazy about posting on this blog. A few things I read over the last 3 months that I won't be reviewing here:</span><br />
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<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><i>Anne of Green Gables </i>by Lucy Maud Montgomery. I finally read this!!! Can you believe that I've seen the Canadian mini-series/movie more times than I can count but never actually read the book???? It has been remedied and I am so pleased to report that the adaptation of the book to screen is so well done as to rival <i>The Princess Bride</i> for "Best Adaptation" in my book. The second <i>Anne </i>series/movie... I'm not going to go there.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><i>Five Days At Memorial</i> by Sheri Fink. Guys. This. Book. It took me almost a month to read because I found it so incredibly stressful. True story of a bunch of doctors and nurses in the days during the incredible flooding in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. I can't even imagine what those people went through and I certainly can't imagine having to make the tough decisions that they made. Very good, very hard to read.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><i>Insane City</i> by Dave Barry (audio book version). Who doesn't love Dave Barry? Like his previous two novels, this one is full of vivid characters and crazy situations. Barry is a great narrator and I loved every insane minute of the book.</span></span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">Many of you probably know that Julian Fellowes writes for the beloved English period drama</span><span class="apple-converted-space" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"> </span><i style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">Downton Abbey.</i><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"> You may even know that he won an Oscar for Best Original Screenplay for the film</span><span class="apple-converted-space" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"> </span><i style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">Gosford Park<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></i><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">in 2002. But did you know that he used to be an actor? And that he's also a novelist? His 2004 novel simply titled</span><span class="apple-converted-space" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"> </span><i style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">Snobs</i><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"> takes a look into a modern day Downton Abbey-type manor house. But lest you think this book is all "Upstairs vs. Downstairs," let me assure you that it is not. It is really about how the class system is very much alive and well in England to this day. And how the aristocracy treats everyone else. It is a comedy of manners- or perhaps, a lack-there-of.</span></div>
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<strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Book Type: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Modern Day Downton Abbey. Minus all the "downstairs" stuff.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;"><br /></span><strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Stereotype Alert: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Not really.</span><br />
<strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;"><br /></strong><strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Cover Art: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Ring the bell!</span><br />
<strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;"><br /></strong><strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Bed/Bride/Bludgeon: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Narrator/Charles/Googie</span><br />
<strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;"><br /></strong><strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Character Score: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">6</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;"> out of 10 Mr. Micawbers</span><br />
<strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;"><br /></strong><strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">What's the Story?: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">A comedy of manners. Non-aristocratic Edith meets Charles the Earl, gets married and realizes life married to a rich man is not as simple as she originally thought.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;"><b>X-Factor: </b>Autobiography-ish</span><br />
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<strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Cover Art: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">The one with the bells is a reissued paperback version. The original 2004/2005 edition is bright yellow with sort of art deco people on it. Funny thing is, this stock bell art on the new cover was also used on the book <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Servants-Downstairs-History-Britain-Nineteenth/dp/0393241092/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388782357&sr=8-1&keywords=servants" target="_blank">Servants</a></i> by Lucy Lethbridge with different cropping etc. You'd think that folks would be pretty sure to use different cover art for two books that deal with the English aristocracy and their homes but apparently not.</span><br />
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<strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Bed/Bride/Bludgeon:</strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;"> Well, though I know far more about Edith than I'd like and far less about the narrator, he sounds hot. And is artistic. And is a born English aristocrat. *swoon* I love boring old Charles. If you had to marry for money/station, I could think of a LOT worse people to be stuck with. Besides, he obviously loves Edith and would do anything for her- why doesn't she teach an old dog a few new tricks? And Googie. Ugh. Fellowes does a great job of painting her as a woman who does what she needs to in order to stay polite within her station. He also paints her as a sympathetic mother who just wants what is best for her son. I get it. She's still annoying.</span><br />
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<strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Character Score: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Love most of them, hate a few of them. Love Fellowes' voice. The end.</span><br />
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<strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">What's the Story?:</strong><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 150%;">Snobs </span></i><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 150%;">is </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 150%;">written mostly from the point of view of an actor who was born an
aristocrat, and he tells the tale of Edith Lavery and the Broughtons, who hold
the seat as to the Marquess of Uckfield. Edith, who was brought up in an
upper-middle class household by a mother who longed to be debutante, is a very
attractive blonde who agrees to go along with her mother's plans for coming out
and taking an active roll in London's debutante season. Nearly nine years
later, Edith is working a boring desk job and hasn't landed a rich husband- or
any husband at all. While visiting the friends in Sussex, Edith, our
narrator and their host Isabel Easton, decide to take a public tour of the
nearby manor house Broughton Hall. The group run into one of the members
of the family while on the tour and Charles Broughton (heir to the Marquess and
one of England's most eligible bachelors) takes a shine to Edith. Months
later, the narrator and Edith are both invited to join the Eastons at Ascot in
London. The group run into Charles again and the Earl manages to convince
Edith to join him for tea. The rest, as they say, is history.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 150%;">Charles eventually proposes to Edith and being the pragmatic
individual that she is, Edith accepts. But life as an Earl's wife is
hardly what she imagined it would be. First, there's Charles mother, Lady
Uckfield (known affectionately by the ridiculous nickname "Googie").
Lady Uckfield probably hates Edith with a venomous passion but seeing as
manners and decorum dictate that she act as if she love Edith, never shows her
true feelings. Googie knows that Edith is not a true aristocrat and that
is the one failing that Edith can never make up no matter how hard she tries.
Edith is, and always will be, an outsider. Then there's the fact
that Charles, while a good, loyal, man is rather...boring. And though
Edith plays her part and immerses herself in running flower shows, working with
local charities and enjoying life in a grand house, she finds herself to be
very unhappy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 150%;">Almost a year into their marriage, the Broughtons decide to let a
production company film a period drama on the estate. Our narrator
secures a role in the production and is there to witness Edith finally come off
the rails. Throwing all caution and common sense to the wind, Edith
begins an affair with the film's handsome leading man, leaves Charles and sets
up shop with her new lover in London. Our poor narrator is then forced to
become a sort of go-between for Edith and the Broughton family.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><i>Snobs </i>is a novel about
the less glamorous side of the English elite and can be practically summed up
in the following quote:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 150%;">"The English, of all classes as it happens, are addicted to
exclusivity. Leave three Englishmen in a room and they will invent a rule
that prevents a fourth joining them."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 150%;">A delightful read for any who enjoy English history and culture.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">X-Factor: </b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Lots of people assumed that this was an autobiography since Fellowes is also a member of the English aristocracy and an actor. It is fiction, but he describes that world and its manners so well that I'd love it no matter what it was.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">If you are jonesing for more <i>Downton</i>, do not hesitate to pick up this book!</span></div>
Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11187699120920441165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3705418234821782517.post-64315644006653155792013-10-09T11:30:00.000-05:002013-10-09T11:30:00.678-05:00All hail Mr. Darcy! Or, Elizabeth Bennet. Or someone from Longbourn!<strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;"><br /></strong>
<strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;"><i>Longbourn </i>by Jo Baker</strong><br />
<strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;"><br /></strong>
<strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Book Type: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">It's a <i>Pride and Prejudice </i>retelling!!!! Or is it???</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;"><br /></span><strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Stereotype Alert: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Not as bad as you'd think!</span><br />
<strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;"><br /></strong><strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Cover Art: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Looks like art. Though I'm going to guess this is a servant from about... 20 years before our story takes place.</span><br />
<strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;"><br /></strong><strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Bed/Bride/Bludgeon: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Mrs. Hill/John/Wickham</span><br />
<strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;"><br /></strong><strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Character Score: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">6</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;"> out of 10 Mr. Micawbers</span><br />
<strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;"><br /></strong><strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">What's the Story?: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;"><i>Pride and Prejudice</i> as told by the servants. There's hardly any Darcy/Bingley in here at all!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;"><b>X-Factor: </b>The great Jane Austen- with a twist.</span><br />
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<strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Stereotype Alert: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Readers, I was quite afeared that this would be yet another Jane Austen rip-off/ "What happened after the story ended????" type novel. Not so. Not at all.</span></div>
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<strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Cover Art: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Not much to say about this cover. It is clearly a housemaid. So, yeah.</span></div>
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<strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Bed/Bride/Bludgeon: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Poor Mrs. Hill! She needs a lover- stat! John is, to use the words of <a href="http://foreveryoungadult.com/" target="_blank">Forever Young Adult</a>, a total MLD (Mysterious Loner Dude). He's hot and has a mysterious past- all good things for a friend with benefits to have. And Wickham. Death to creepy, old Wickham- always.</span></div>
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<strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Character Score: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">6 out of 10 seems fair. I might even go as far as a 7. Baker has created a great voice for Sarah and just like with Austen, you fall in love with all of her main characters. But there is surprisingly little of Mrs. Bennet and her five daughters. Glimpses, yes, but the story is driven by those below-stairs. </span></div>
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<strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">What's the Story?: </strong>Many, many authors have tried to capture the genius that is
Jane Austen (and more specifically, the delight that came from the characters
in <i>Pride and Prejudice</i>). But<i>
Longbourn </i>by Jo Baker isn’t an Austen rip-off. It isn’t even a story that tries to answer
the question “What happened after Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy got married?” Instead, Baker has told the story of the
Bennet household from the point of view of a rather unlikely character: the
Bennet’s housemaid, Sarah. </div>
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Sarah (about Ms. Elizabeth Bennet’s age) has been with the
family since she was a little girl. She
does everything that is expected of a housemaid including: soaking and
scrubbing muddy petticoats, feeding the pigs, emptying chamber pots and washing
the never-ending supply of dishes being used by a family of seven. She does not complain. But she does wonder
what it would be like to live a life where no one expected you to do anything
and you could act on your own free-will.
<o:p></o:p></div>
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The joyous thing about this novel is that we see only
glimpses of the Bennet family; a line of conversation here and there, but not
much more. The pages are filled with
Sarah’s daily activities and those of the other staff: Mr. Hill and the
housekeeper Mrs. Hill, the young housemaid Polly and a new hired man, James, who
has a shadowy past. There is little here
of Jane’s pining for Bingley or Elizabeth’s annoyance with Darcy. Sarah slowly sets off down a path towards her
own romance but will she end up with the mysterious James or Mr. Bingley’s
handsome and charming servant Ptomely? <o:p></o:p></div>
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Baker takes us with Sarah on her journey from young lady to
woman and we get to see just how much she longs for a world outside of
service. We see her set off with
Elizabeth to Kent to visit the Collinses and her amazement at the metropolis
that is London. When she is given the
opportunity to leave Longbourn and serve at Pemberly, will the grand house be
the new responsibilities and distractions she needs? Will she marry in order to get out of
service? Or will she go a direction all
her own without the help of her benefactors and friends? <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">X-Factor: </b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">The great Jane Austen- with a twist.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;">Seriously guys, I was kind of worried about reading this book. I am not a fan of Austen retellings. I thought this was just another author who was in lurve with Austen and was trying to write a book in order to express her feelings to the long-dead legend. Not so. Baker has a very unique voice. She is authentic to the time, but does not strive to sound like Austen in any way. You are given glimpses of the girls at Longbourn, but your heart lies with Sarah and her struggles. Even the staunchest Austen fan can enjoy this novel. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;"><i>Longbourn </i>by Jo Baker<i> </i>is available at all fine bookstores and libraries.</span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.875px;"><br /></span>Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11187699120920441165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3705418234821782517.post-19912965685593937952013-09-26T14:14:00.000-05:002013-09-26T14:14:07.596-05:00Book Review: Run, Brother, Run<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><strong>Book Type: </strong><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.859375px;">true crime meets family memoir</span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.87px;"><br /></span><strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.87px;">Stereotype Alert: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.87px;">Nada</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.87px;"> </span><br />
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<strong>Cover Art:</strong> Hey Ma! We're in a window!<br />
<strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.87px;"><br /></strong><strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.87px;">Bed/Bride/Bludgeon: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.87px;">N/A</span><br />
<strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.87px;"><br /></strong><strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.87px;">Character Score: </strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.87px;">6 out of 10 Mr. Micawbers</span><br />
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<strong>What's the Story?: </strong>David Berg writes a memoir that is half family history, half detailed account of his older brother's murder.<br />
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<strong>X-Factor: </strong>A rose by any other name...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0FG0j70cb7izDpfx_ubnN-z2cVy-6GOgFDXW4Y_Q_ojkU5bns_vjknsf73Si1N045hSjL-vQ0OKBYbgiJdMNp0kFOn3FferIoKcqP592R50llOB-lij_mSxcDJyP2D3aOgJGzq4vRaPuW/s1600/runbrother.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0FG0j70cb7izDpfx_ubnN-z2cVy-6GOgFDXW4Y_Q_ojkU5bns_vjknsf73Si1N045hSjL-vQ0OKBYbgiJdMNp0kFOn3FferIoKcqP592R50llOB-lij_mSxcDJyP2D3aOgJGzq4vRaPuW/s400/runbrother.jpg" width="263" /></a></div>
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<strong style="font-weight: bold; line-height: 22.87px;">Stereotype Alert: </strong><span style="line-height: 22.87px;">Nope. This is a very interesting tale of family and murder but there isn't really anything stereotypical about it.</span></div>
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<strong style="line-height: 22.87px;">Cover Art: </strong><span style="line-height: 22.87px;">It's a memoir, y'all. I'm pretty sure they are obligated to use an old family photo on the cover.</span></div>
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<strong style="line-height: 22.87px;">Bed/Bride/Bludgeon: </strong><span style="line-height: 22.87px;">I've decided that I only want to do Bed/Bride/Bludgeon in the realm of fictional characters. Since all the people in this story exist, I'm going to let them be.</span></div>
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<strong style="line-height: 22.87px;">Character Score: </strong><span style="line-height: 22.87px;">David Berg may be a lawyer and not an official writer, but he has a wonderful voice. The way he tells his family's story is quirky and funny despite the murder that you know is coming.</span></div>
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<strong style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; line-height: normal;">What's the Story?: </strong></div>
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<i style="background-color: transparent;">Run, Brother, Run </i><span style="background-color: transparent;">is
a true tale of murder and how it affects a family.</span><span style="background-color: transparent;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent;">The book is written by David Berg, whose
older brother was murdered under mysterious circumstances by hit man Charles
Harrelson (father of actor Woody Harrelson).</span><span style="background-color: transparent;">
</span><span style="background-color: transparent;">While a good portion of the book deals with the crime, police
investigation and the aftermath of the court case surrounding Alan Berg’s
murder, much of the story is about the Berg family.</span><span style="background-color: transparent;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent;">It is a story about memory and how tragic
events can alter the way you see the past and the future.</span></div>
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Berg begins with memories from his childhood using wit and
honesty to portray life in a very stressful home. Here is one example:<o:p></o:p></div>
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“That was 1946, the year our father met Dorothy Heinrich in
a Kalamazoo diner. She would one day
become his wife, but for now, she was his waitress. “Dot” was five ten, with the sultriness of
Rita Hayworth. Mom was four ten, with
the temperament of Henry VIII- so there you have it. It wasn’t the first time Mom had caught Dad
cheating, but it was the last. Our
parents would scream at each other for what felt like hours. Alan would cry in bed beside me, and then, to
my astonishment, get up and go down the hall to intervene. Mom would shriek, <i>Get out of here, Mr. Buttinski, this is not your business! Get back in that bed! </i>“(4).<o:p></o:p></div>
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Berg talks a lot about growing up in the Berg
household. A big part of that time was
David and Alan’s father wanting his sons to go to medical school. Alan took quite a few detours before getting
there (including leaving the Navy due to holding a floating crap game) but Alan
finally made it into the medical program at the University of Texas. After a fight with his father, Alan took off
instead of registering for classes. The
hopes of having a physician in the Berg family had died yet another death.<o:p></o:p></div>
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David becomes a lawyer much to his father’s dismay. When Alan disappears in May of 1968, David
admits to being busy starting his new career.
But it is clear that certain things don’t add up. Alan had been involved in gambling, but he
was also very in love with his wife who was then pregnant with their third
child. The police refused to start an
investigation, insisting that Alan must have just taken off. But David and his father knew different. They began hunting for leads which took them
down a whirlwind of different paths, most of which involved paying a fee of
some kind. When Alan’s body was finally
found six months later, questions surrounding Charles Harrelson and a business
associate of Alan and David’s father swirled in earnest. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">There isn’t a happy ending to this tale. There is not justice for the dead, and none
for the surviving family. David Berg
tries his best to use his knowledge of law to lay out the facts surrounding his
brother’s murder and subsequent trial.
It is a stark tale of true crime in America in the 1960s.</span><br />
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<strong>X-Factor: </strong>A rose by any other name...<br />
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Full disclosure: the only reason I picked up this book was because I'd heard that the brother was murdered by Woody Harrelson's dad. Then I read the inside cover, and was like "Woody Harrelson's father was a notorious hit man???? I must read this!" To be honest, I'd like to know more about Charles Harrelson and how he fell into the life that he lived. But knowing that Harrelson was never convicted of murdering Alan Berg made him into even more of a low-life than I'd originally thought. Again, the star power isn't the factor I thought it would be, but it was still an honest, even funny memoir.Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11187699120920441165noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3705418234821782517.post-49351031181713942062013-09-23T12:17:00.000-05:002013-09-23T12:17:58.774-05:00Reference Question of the Day: Puberty & StuffSo this reference question got asked a month or so back, but the exchange was so adorable I had to share.<br />
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A female tween/preteen who had been asking me to help her find various books all morning came back to the desk for another round. Normally, this is a very outgoing, engaging young person so when she sort of crept up to the desk and whispered her question I was a little concerned. <br />
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"This is really embarrassing." She began and buried her face in her hands. <br />
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"No worries." I told her. "How can I help?"<br />
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"Well, my mom told me to ask for... god, this is embarrassing... a DVD about like, puberty and stuff." *buries head in hands a second time*<br />
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I just smiled and told her that wasn't embarrassing at all- that I'd had people ask me practically everything under the sun and that her question didn't even come close to being weird or embarrassing and that she shouldn't ever be shy about asking. And sure enough, I found her a "birds and the bees etc." DVD and she was happy.<br />
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<br />Nataliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11187699120920441165noreply@blogger.com0